Oreos and Orange Juice.

"Why the hell would you want to date these poisonous little bitches? I mean, they're evil. You should try to find a girl who's going to be healthy for you, like a spiritual fresh-squeezed orange juice."

"Well, hey, I like nice girls too, it's just that sometimes you're in the mood for orange juice, and sometimes you're in the mood for.. I dunno... Oreos."



"Well, what if you could only have one?"

FACTS:

Oreos

• No work required. Got $5? Get you some Oreos.


• Oreos can be found nearly anywhere at anytime of night.


• You can tell when someone has been eating alot of Oreos.


• You can't eat too many Oreos before you start to feel sick.


• Tired of Oreos? Throw the bag away.


• Not at all good for you.


• Can give you an upset stomach.

Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice

• Requires work. It comes from an orange tree, so: Trimming the orange tree, watering it and making sure there's no bugs on it.


• You might not always be able to get fresh-squeezed orange juice when you want it.


• Very healthy for you. Vitamin C is scientifically proven to have been made from the lightrays from God's robes.


• An orange tree, should it stop producing oranges, will still sit in your backyard for years, scraping up against your bathroom window making distracting noises when you are trying to just bust a nut so you can go to bed.


• Can give you an upset stomach.

Overall, Oreos and Orange Juice do NOT mix. Try it.....

...did you try it? No seriously, go try it...

NASTY! Am I right?

Next issue of Food Metaphor Monthly:
How some girls are like Pop-Tarts® and some are like a bag of rusty pennies™.