I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
A friend of mine, let's call her "Bathsheba," was involved in a long-time on-again, off-again passionate affair with a young man who lives one-plus tanks full of gas away. Being the well-meaning but apparently misdirected young man that he is, let's call him "Judas." Judas and Bathsheba were together for a brief period, but it fizzled when they found they couldn't cut it long-distance. At times before and after their attempt, they found that either one of them was in a relationship, or had just gotten out of one, or just wasn't ready to get into what they knew would be "the real deal."
"We've just never been able to make it work at the same time, even though we've always had feelings for each other," she told me.
When she was living overseas, she wrote him long letters full of vivid descriptions of her adventures, and put significant effort into opening the channels of communication to continue their pseudo-romance across the greater physical distance as well as the emotional unreadiness that had become their trademark. He didn't write back, but she knew he meant well.
When she returned, they spent time together, but both knew they weren't anywhere near what, of course, would be the ultimate end result.
That's when I became really aware of the situation. Since everyone else has fake names, let's call me "Jesus Christ."
"Pseudo-romances like this one seem like a waste of time to me," I said unto her one day.
"But Jesus Christ, I know he cares for me. Why should I abandon something that I know will end up as something really good one day?"
"Hold on a second, I'm not paying attention," I said, "I'm parting the Red Sea."
"That was Moses, you asshole."
"What are you, blind? I'm not mentioning it as an historical or theological statement, I'm actually physically doing it right now so that the Jews can escape from the Egyptians."
"Oh, right."
I quickly finished, killing all the Pharoah's men in a mighty crashing of the waves. "What's the problem--oh, right, the guy who says he loves you but won't act like it. Here's the thing--" I began, and then began waving my hands to create a series of images in the clouds above us, while simultaneously eradicating world hunger. I conjured an image of a guy who says he love a girl but won't act on it for a bunch of crappy resaons.
"This represents a guy who says he love a girl but won't act on it for a bunch of crappy resaons," I said.
Next I established a cloud-banner that read "IF HE FURRY GLOVED YOU HE WOULD ACT LIKE IT."
"What the hell does that mean?" Bathsheba asked.
"Hold on," I said, "this is hard." I corrected the words.
Finally she understood, and nodded solemnly to herself. "So what you're saying is that I'm wasting my time being involved in something that isn't happening and that if he really loved me he would behave that way. Thank you, Jesus Christ."
"Amen, sister."
"We've just never been able to make it work at the same time, even though we've always had feelings for each other," she told me.
When she was living overseas, she wrote him long letters full of vivid descriptions of her adventures, and put significant effort into opening the channels of communication to continue their pseudo-romance across the greater physical distance as well as the emotional unreadiness that had become their trademark. He didn't write back, but she knew he meant well.
When she returned, they spent time together, but both knew they weren't anywhere near what, of course, would be the ultimate end result.
That's when I became really aware of the situation. Since everyone else has fake names, let's call me "Jesus Christ."
"Pseudo-romances like this one seem like a waste of time to me," I said unto her one day.
"But Jesus Christ, I know he cares for me. Why should I abandon something that I know will end up as something really good one day?"
"Hold on a second, I'm not paying attention," I said, "I'm parting the Red Sea."
"That was Moses, you asshole."
"What are you, blind? I'm not mentioning it as an historical or theological statement, I'm actually physically doing it right now so that the Jews can escape from the Egyptians."
"Oh, right."
I quickly finished, killing all the Pharoah's men in a mighty crashing of the waves. "What's the problem--oh, right, the guy who says he loves you but won't act like it. Here's the thing--" I began, and then began waving my hands to create a series of images in the clouds above us, while simultaneously eradicating world hunger. I conjured an image of a guy who says he love a girl but won't act on it for a bunch of crappy resaons.
"This represents a guy who says he love a girl but won't act on it for a bunch of crappy resaons," I said.
Next I established a cloud-banner that read "IF HE FURRY GLOVED YOU HE WOULD ACT LIKE IT."
"What the hell does that mean?" Bathsheba asked.
"Hold on," I said, "this is hard." I corrected the words.
Finally she understood, and nodded solemnly to herself. "So what you're saying is that I'm wasting my time being involved in something that isn't happening and that if he really loved me he would behave that way. Thank you, Jesus Christ."
"Amen, sister."
posted by Chris Cusack at 2:03 PM
1 Comments:
Who is Harriet? And, Bathsheba told me that it WILL work out or else all the plans she's had riding on the psuedo-relationship will have amounted to yet another learning experience.
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