If You're Going To San Francisco...

I was flossing my teeth when my girlfriend came in.

"What is THAT?!"

Floss was still a relatively new thing in China at the time.

"Is a teeth string," I answered in my broken Chinese, "Is for the clean the side of the teeth. Is soooo good, I think. I show you how do it, ok."

She shook her head, "No, I'd rather not, it looks like it hurts."

"No, is not hurt, is easy for you, ok. Do you know that many teeth doctor say that if they go to the island that not have people, they like to take the teeth string, more than the teeth brush! See, so what would you do?"

"I wouldn't want to go to an island like that anyway."

I turned from flossing to look at her incredulously as she turned to walk back to the kitchen. Just before she turned the corner she began laughing as she looked back to gave me a 'mmmwah' air-kiss and a wink.

My heart melted.

I immediately closed my eyes tight and replayed the scene for myself several times, swearing to never forget that moment.

But I didn't think of it again until this morning, nearly four years later, as I woke up. It occurred to me that I hadn't flossed in a long time.

I lay in my bed thinking of the floss incident and about her in general.

I remembered walking along the streets with her, reluctant to hold her hand because of the comments and stares that were sure to follow. "Whore!" "Slut!" etc.

"Ben! Hold my hand!"

"No, I am understand the mean names the mans call you! It is bad names like hooker girl and chicken girl. I am think maybe you get tired of the names, you maybe will sick me and leave me."

"Ben, I love YOU, why in the world would I stop loving you because of something that someone ELSE says or thinks? Now hold my hand."

I remembered the last month or so I was there. When we walked in the park, and were laughing and having fun she would suddenly begin to cry, and would try to hide it.

I would get angry, "You know I tell you I am leave at the beginning! Why you sad, you should try to enjoy this time, instead you cry!"

She would act like she hadn't been crying. Later at night I would hear her in the bathroom sobbing.

I remember finding this note crumpled beneath the nightstand, written in her elegant hand but with shakey English grammar.

Dear Boy,
I don't want to you go back and I afraid of leaving me alone.
The moment I think of it. My tear will stream.
Aren't you sad when you leave me?
I don't prevent you to go back.
I'm just sad.
Don't worry about me. Ok?
-Your Girl

"Poor kid," I thought to myself, "I feel bad for her... Wow, her English is really coming along." I kept the note, as a souvenir.

I remember the last morning in China, I kissed her goodbye, and as I was walking away from the building she waved to me from her open window. "Ben!" I turned. "I love you! Be happy!"

I shed a few obligatory tears as I rode in the cab to the airport. Would I miss her? Sure I would! She was great.

On my flight from Shanghai to San Francisco, I recalled that there was a bagel shop just down the street from my uncle's house in the Haight-Ashbury district. "Oh man! Bagels! With real cream cheese!"

There was a lot of crappy things about China but the crappiest, in my opinion, at the time, back then, was the lack of cream cheese.

---

N.B. The above story is true in its entirety.