Monday, January 30, 2006

Legitimate Question from Real Reader Who Wants to Know . . .

Dear DoLanders,

Whenever I approach girls they seem afraid. Then when I ask them for they're (sic) number they take my number and never call. What should I do?

Hack Nike


Dear Hack Nike,

There are several important pieces of information that we need before answering this question. For example:

1. Are you a hunchback?
2. Does the hump on your back protrude above your head?
3. If not, how high does it protrude?

If you are not a hunchback, and are at least an average-looking guy with at least the smallest amount of game--which may or may not be true--then I would recommend downshifting from playa mode into funny, interesting, and mysterious guy mode.

Assertion is good when meeting girls. Aggression is not. If girls seem afraid when you're asking them for their number, you may be driving to the hole a little too strong for their tastes. Just like Kobe.1

What does assertion mean? It means approach the girl you're interested in, start a conversation, if you have anything in common and find that you actually do want to get to know the girl, then consider asking her for her number2.

And here's a tip: exit early, and leave her wanting more. If things are going well in the conversation, and you can see that she's not wondering if you're going to club her over the head and steal her purse, make a reasonable excuse, and say something like 'Listen, I'd really like to find out more about your poodle-dying business. Can I give you a call some time?'

God speed.

Other DoLanders? What do you think?

1How'd you like that double metaphor? Huh? Huh?

2I think this is a mistake that a lot of guys have in meeting girls. Fellas: just because she's good-looking (or female) doesn't mean that you actually want her. Don't be fooled into thinking that a tennis skirt means she's your type. Talk to her first, and see if she's got anything to say. You might be surprised. In other words, get some of those, you know, standards.

5 Comments:

Blogger Cibbuano said...

I'd say that if you're making girls 'afraid', you're doing something wrong.

There are a lot of elements to being successful with women, and producing fear isn't one of them.

1:47 PM  
Blogger Derelict said...

STANDARDS? Shit, I thought those were for the Food and Drug Administration and engineers, not tru playas.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Blight said...

I recommend reading The Game and then it may also help if you didn't walk over and just start humping her leg.

Eye contact, confidence, and being normal are all important "elements", if I may quote Cibbuano.

Standards... everyone has their scale from "Supa Model" to "Wolf Ugly". Your standards kick in right before "Wolf Ugly", unless you're sober, in which case they kick in at "Would have sex with drunk, and then lie about it".

5:38 PM  
Blogger Madge DoRightly said...

Dear Do Landers,
My boyfriend is from another country and has to go back there in just a few weeks. Unless he wins the greencard lottery he will be unable to return for at least a year. Since I cannot obtain a work visa to his country till October we are, at the moment, unsure of the future of our relationship, which we both would like to continue. Any advice (comical or serious) would be appreciated.

Sincerely,
Madge

11:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i've done a fair bit of travelling and had a few love affairs along the way. i even considered marrying for visa rights when I was 22. my rule of thumb is to have as much fun as possible for as long as I can drag it out when I meet someone worthy. when it's time to say good-bye, i switch into the objective-and-completely-honest-with-eachother mode and say my fairwells. its important to realize that unless you think you might be willing to marry that person for visa rights or for both of you to move to another country altogether, its just not going to work out(especially when the other half of the relationship is living a continent + hemisphere away). if I ever have doubts, I think: "how far would I go to change my life for this person right now?" if you both REALLY want to continue the relationship, october is not that far away. you could also consider trying to get a student visa and be productive along the way-its generally a good short cut for visa issues and sometimes you can additionally get permission to work, or you could just consider going there illegally (the most they'll do is kick you out and probably pay for your deportation flight)...in the meantime, have as much sex with him as possible and each time, treat it like it could be your last time with him. trust me, you'll be happy you did!

1:36 AM  

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