“Do you have a condom?” she asked me.
“No,” I replied sheepishly.
“How could you not have a condom?”
“I’unno, I just don’t. Don’t you?”
“No. You better get one, because otherwise we’re not doing anything.”
I yanked my clothes back on, slipped into my sandals, and sprinted out the door. There was a Walgreen’s across the street, and I knew that if I hurried, I could get there and back before it was too late. The block was plagued with construction, and I thought I was going to have to run several miles to get around it. Instead I decided to hurdle an orange plastic barrier and run across the freshly laid blacktop.
“Fuck!” It was fresh. My feet had sunk down into the road, and were being seared by rock and tar. I pulled my feet out quickly, and broke a sandal in the process.
“Fuckshit!” I scooped up my mangled footwear and scampered across the rest of the way. I ran into the store, bought a box of condoms, and paid. On the way back, I noticed a clearly marked entrance to the apartment complex unfettered by traffic blockades. Sigh. The whole endeavor had taken me at least six minutes—long enough for a girl to change her mind about sleeping with you for the first time, especially if her roommates were supposed to be coming home within the next hour.
When I returned, I found her wrapped up in blankets, reading an old National Geographic. Little black pebbles clung to my aching feet.
“Took you long enough,” she said mockingly.
“There was a bunch of construction,” I said, getting back into bed. I kissed her, hoping to get things going again. After a minute or so, she stopped me and laughed.
“I actually found some in my jewelry box right after you left.”
I laughed too, because I knew we were going to do it after all. Suddenly, we heard the front door open. Then the sound of keys being put down, followed by the refrigerator opening and shutting. Footsteps clamored around the wooden floors before settling on the couch. The television snapped on. I kissed her again, hopefully.
“We’re not doing it when Kim is here.”
I acted like I understood.
“I understand,” I said. I put my clothes back on again, and so did she.
“No,” I replied sheepishly.
“How could you not have a condom?”
“I’unno, I just don’t. Don’t you?”
“No. You better get one, because otherwise we’re not doing anything.”
I yanked my clothes back on, slipped into my sandals, and sprinted out the door. There was a Walgreen’s across the street, and I knew that if I hurried, I could get there and back before it was too late. The block was plagued with construction, and I thought I was going to have to run several miles to get around it. Instead I decided to hurdle an orange plastic barrier and run across the freshly laid blacktop.
“Fuck!” It was fresh. My feet had sunk down into the road, and were being seared by rock and tar. I pulled my feet out quickly, and broke a sandal in the process.
“Fuckshit!” I scooped up my mangled footwear and scampered across the rest of the way. I ran into the store, bought a box of condoms, and paid. On the way back, I noticed a clearly marked entrance to the apartment complex unfettered by traffic blockades. Sigh. The whole endeavor had taken me at least six minutes—long enough for a girl to change her mind about sleeping with you for the first time, especially if her roommates were supposed to be coming home within the next hour.
When I returned, I found her wrapped up in blankets, reading an old National Geographic. Little black pebbles clung to my aching feet.
“Took you long enough,” she said mockingly.
“There was a bunch of construction,” I said, getting back into bed. I kissed her, hoping to get things going again. After a minute or so, she stopped me and laughed.
“I actually found some in my jewelry box right after you left.”
I laughed too, because I knew we were going to do it after all. Suddenly, we heard the front door open. Then the sound of keys being put down, followed by the refrigerator opening and shutting. Footsteps clamored around the wooden floors before settling on the couch. The television snapped on. I kissed her again, hopefully.
“We’re not doing it when Kim is here.”
I acted like I understood.
“I understand,” I said. I put my clothes back on again, and so did she.
posted by Chris Cusack at 6:06 PM
4 Comments:
Roommates can be so cruel. How dare she come back to her own home!
I can sympathize, though. It seems that whenever you're not carrying jimmyhats, that's the day some girl will want to have casual, meaningless sex. Safe sex, of course...
Fuck, a roommate can suffer through a little bit of loud sex. It's not a big deal. I mean, yelling out passionate swear words in Spanish during the act might be a bit much but otherwise it shouldn't be a big deal.
Besides the worst that could happen with a female roommate is that she'd get jealous and try and join in. I mean, what would the harm in that be anyway?
Some people are so sensitive.
she keeps condoms in the jewlery box???...
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