­­¡­­M!

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT:

All you bitches who said we couldn't do it, RIDE IT BACKWARDS! {Points to crotch with exaggerated aggressiveness. Eyes shift leftward, indicating slight unease at volume to which voice was raised.}


Do Land now officially has had 1,000 viewers! Discounting the number of times me and Zane have checked the blog for comments and autoëgostroking, that means at least four or five of you have read and, if you have any taste, appreciated our wise and witty musings on the topic of philophilism, what the Greeks called "­­βόιηκιη'."

I extend this invitation {performs American Sign Language hand motion meaning 'invite'} to all our readers, in all your splendid diversity and stuff, to tell your friends and easily offended relatives about our exciting and groundbreaking work.

It would mean a lot to us. Autoëgostroking, as a hobby, or rather, as a compulsion, is diminishingly less satisfying. Each time I look at the comment-arid wasteland of Do Land, I feel the negative-mass of non-commentary steal a little bit from my spiritual essence; a spiritual essence I have built up with hard work at the spiritual gym lifting spiritual weights and injecting spiritual steriods. This represents a significant investment, and is not something I am willing to see go to spiritual pot just because you, the Do Land reader, are too lazy/hateful to leave comments and tell your friends!

I'm.. I'm sorry... Come back, I'm so sorry..

{Zane looks steadily into the eyes of the Do Land reader, as a single tear slides down his oddly feminine cheek. Ben lays prone on the floor with his hands by his side, his face mashed painfully against the buffed marble floors of the Do Land Grand Palace of Love, his wracking sobs echo dully off the frescoed ceiling seventy feet above.}